It's been a while since I posted on this blog. Not that I haven't had anything to say, but that I am just lazy. Everything has been chaos in my world and I think that I would benefit from blogging on a regular basis, just to get things out of my system, but it seems that I step on toes and make people mad or give them something to gossip about, so I have kept my blogging to Myspace where no one is around anymore to read the postings!
The past few weeks have been really tough though and I thought I would hit the high spots tonight. This week has been horrid, not just for me, I am ok really, but the Nation has seen it's share of disasters. Such is life in the free world I suppose, but it seems that there are forces that are not of good working here. First the bombings in Boston at the end of the Boston Marathon... then the scare of Risin found in several spots, then the fertilizer plant in West, Tx that had a fire and explosion. The Beaumont explosion at the Exxon plant, the flooding in Illinois, the pipe bomb and grenade found in a storage on Grandview and 52, way too close to home. The woman trying to kill herself and crashed into another car with a child inside... Gee, what next?

I guess that things are just a bit spooky right now. You know, back in 2001, there was that panic, that sense that things would never be the same again... this time it is like.. this is the way it is, we have to decide if we want to go on being open, caring, loving...

I hate that we have these decisions in our minds, our hearts. I know we as a nation have it in us still to overcome these trials and tribulations, but really, do we want to? I do, but then I look around me, people that don't care, don't want to better themselves, play video games all day and smoke pot, drink, goof off then expect someone else to help them out because they don't have money... because their job is dull, because their job is hard, because it is cold/hot/nice outside.... whatever the excuse to not work, to not be useful, to sit on their butts and do nothing constructive. I don't get that.

I know I am from a different era, and I know that I don't fit in here in this society that has become deranged... but darnit. I am trying to fit in, can't anyone else try as well? Can't people get up of their arses and turn off their X-box and TV and do something. Has our government turned us all into zombies? is it the government? is it the labor unions that are teaching that minimum wage isn't good enough? is it our schools? is it the parents that just don't do anything with or about their kids? Is it a combination of all?  What on earth?

I am so proud of my daughter, she works everyday whether she wants to or not, she is efficient and good and the company has helped her because she is dependable. That makes me proud. My son will be as well I am sure when he is old enough to work. He is dependable and good and honest.  Something that is obviously lacking in most kids now.  Myself? I don't work every day, well... I do. I teach part time at the college, I work in my studio every day, and I have a son at home (two kids in the summer) that I cook for every day, clean up after, chauffer around, do laundry for.... and I take care of the yard, such that it is... take care of the house, the truck, and anything else that comes up.

I say that I do it all by myself. Most of the time I do, but I have had a friend that has been visiting that has taken care of things that I wasn't able to do or had put off doing because I wasn't feeling up to par. God Bless, because I know that I needed some help. It will quickly be back to just me and my son again until the Summer. My Grandson is coming to visit and it will be the three of us. Last Summer, he came for a month. I felt so bad for him... it was right in that month that Mom got so sick and I took the boys with me to the hospital every day to sit with her. They were both such angles that it made me cry.

Well, so anyway, I do work. I do something every day. It might not be huge money making, but I do work. So I feel like I can say something to those that don't do anything but goof off every day. I feel like I can say..Get a life... I went a lot of years when my daughter was little that we didn't have anything. No telephone, no TV.... then we had a black and white TV... for a  long time. People didn't want to come to our house not because of the little b&w tv, and that we didn't  have cable but we didn't even have air conditioning. We didn't have furniture really, we bought a set of three pieces for $100 from a friend, and I had a bed and rocking chair... my daughter's crib. My husband made a bed for her... we didn't do anything because we didn't have money. We didn't go to the movie, we didn't go out to eat, matter of fact, we had beans and cornbread for just about every meal for a while.  We bought a washer finally, after doing laundry for three kids and two adults in the laundry mat... it was heaven. I still had to hang out laundry and iron, but hey....

We lived in our means is what I am trying to say. We did without to pay our bills. I am not saying we didn't have help. We did. My aunt and uncle came and helped work on the house when we moved... they helped work on the cars when they were broken down... My mom came and helped out when she could. It wasn't like we did it alone, but we didn't ask for handouts. One time we borrowed from my brother, to put a down payment on the house I think... we did it contractually. I paid him back as quickly as I could, and we did without to do it.

We also lucked into a lot of things. Like the two bedroom house that we bought. we made it into three bedrooms, fixed it up to be pretty nice. Like the boat that my husband finneagled  in an odd trade deal. It wasn't great, but it was a boat and we spent time on the lake thanks to his bartering/trading skills. I worked even though I stayed at home. I sewed for people and did crafts and sold them, I traded out skills and we always had something to eat. We were able to help out my sister with her three kids... taking all three sometimes. I remember people looking at us with the combined families... all blond, all looking like siblings, 6 altogether... walking in the mall or at the grocery store, people would point and whisper... I was after all only in my early 20s with all these kids, the oldest was 11 or 12. HA!
Ok, so I didn't start this out to be my complaining. It did turn into that. I am now grown up and have a second family, am widowed and trying to get along with a very small income. I am trying. I don't have an IPhone, IPad, I anything... I can't say that I do everything that my son wants to do, but he is pretty well rounded. I can't say that things are always great, but we get along. My son doesn't ask for every name brand piece of clothing, and he doesn't have every game when it first comes out... but he has an X-Box... my daughter didn't have a tv.... So he feels lucky. He feels that he is blessed. I do, too.