Valentine's Day

I am writing as if I don't have anything to do today... in actuality I am so busy that I needed to sit down , take a breath, and calm down before I get really overwhelmed.
Valentine's Day has always made me nervous. As a child with a birthday the day before Valentine's it was always hearts and valentines wishes... and not a real birthday party. It might have had candles, but it was a Valentine's party. Later on in life, I took a job as a florist... I know, about as far from my major as I could get... anyway, I ended up being so tired by the night of Valentine's Day that I just wanted to curl up and not see anyone, not be around anyone, bah, humbug...

So since I had my son, I haven't worked in the floral industry, not exactly, I still do flowers for weddings, etc... but not on a full time basis, and certainly not the volume that I used to experience at the shop. So it was so much better and my husband and I really enjoyed having an evening of romance. After my husband died, I was left with a young child and it was really hard to have my first Valentine's alone. I was weepy and sad, and still had to put on the happy face and help my son with his cards and attend his first grade party. I just wanted to curl up and forget the world.

It has been three years now and I am not as weepy, but still feel empty today. I am not working as a florist yet. Don't think I ever will again. It is too hard of work being a single mom, don't need those 12- 16 hour days... I am working today, I have a photo shoot this evening with 5 couples. I can't wait and yet I am very nervous. I want everything to come out perfect but don't know if it will... confidence is at a low... arrrrrrgh!  Other than the photos, I am baking brownies for my son's 4th grade party, we stayed up late last night and made valentines,,   the party should  be fun, before that I have to finish a bracelet for a friend and have lunch with my Mom and sister,  and I have a sewing project that needs to be done this week and have just a few weeks until the annual festival that I have a booth in. Yikes!  there are n ot enough hours in the day!!

So, I should be busy right now, sigh, I started this blog to actually do some writing, but seems that I am sorely lacking in postings... will try soon to get back, but truthfully, it might be a while.
Love you,
Me